W3BE'S BE Informed!
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BE Informed No. 3.3

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Collection of Excuses

 For not complying with our amateur service rules

John B. Johnston W3BE

Excuse No. 1. SIERRA MADRE TREASURE: Rules? What rules? Nobody told me about no stinking rules!

Excuse No. 2. I HAVEN’T READ THE RULES, BUT: What I am doing must be perfectly legal.

Excuse No. 3. PIED PIPER OF HAMDOM: Follow me and the FCC will eventually change its rules.

Excuse No. 4. OSTRICH: It is all the fault of the manufacturer of my transmitter.

Excuse No. 5. NOBODY’S HOME: A lot of hams are doing it my way and no FCC inspectors are knocking on their doors.

Excuse No. 6. TIMEWARPED: Those old rules don’t fit in with what I am doing.

Excuse No. 7. GOOD BUDDY: Part 95D (CB) is easier to follow than Part 97 (Amateur.)

Excuse No. 8. CONNECTED VIP: Some ham who knows a guy who once worked at the FCC told me that what I am doing is OK.

Excuse No. 9. WAG THE DOG: The FCC rules are not helpful in the systems in which my station transmits.

Excuse No. 10. STEALTH HAM: No one will ever notice what I get away with.

Excuse No. 11. NOT ME: It is all the fault of the designers of the system in which my station transmits.

Excuse No. 12. INTELLECTUAL SNOB: The FCC can’t comprehend what it is that I do.

Excuse No. 13: INVENTOR’S PEROGATIVE: Our regulator neglected to foresee and provide rules for what it is that I just now thought up.

Excuse No. 14. SOFTWARE COPOUT: I didn’t provide protection against abuse in my perfeck system design because the users bear all responsibility and enforcement is the FCC’s job.

Excuse No. 15. GEEK SPECIAL: The computer made me do it.

Excuse No. 16. HYPNOTIST: I cleared my mind of the U.S. Code of Federal Regulations and now stare into this other document that I hold in my hand.

Excuse No. 17. FREE-FOR-ALL DAY: Everyone knows that those 1934 era FCC rules don’t apply on Field Day.

Excuse No. 18. FIELD DAY COMMISSIONED: Some Extra around here said I could operate anywhere.

Excuse No. 19. DAREDEVIL: I will continue doing what I am doing until I get a letter from the FCC advising me that I am in conflict with the rules and subject to disciplinary action.

Excuse No. 20. REJECTION INTOLERANCE: I won’t file a petition for rulemaking because some ham may not like my idea.

Excuse No. 21. BEATS ME: Those rules are too confusing.

Excuse No. 22. LOGICIAN: Common sense says that what I am doing is legal.

Excuse No. 23. INTERPRETER: I don’t read the FCC rules. I just ask a ham friend.

Excuse No. 24. PONTIFICATED: The expert in our club tells us what the real rules are.

Excuse No. 25. FAIR-MINDED COMPETITOR: If I observed those rules, it might hurt my contest scores.

Excuse No. 26. PET FOOD: The dog ate my copy.

Excuse No. 27. SQUATTER’S RIGHT: I’ve been doing it this way for years.

Excuse No. 28. SPENDTHRIFT: It would cost too much to be in compliance.

Excuse No. 29. WHO CARES: No one has ever complained.

Excuse No. 30. CLAIRVOYANT: That was not the FCC’s intent.

Excuse No. 31. IT’S ALL ABOUT ME: Why should I change to one of the hundreds

of other frequencies when I like THIS one?

Excuse No. 32. COPY CAT: Everyone’s doing it.

Excuse No. 33. THE PICTURE OF DORIAN: The question you ask is in the gray area of the rules.

Excuse No. 34. THIRD PARTY OPERATOR RIGHTS ADVOCATE: Anyone should be allowed to be station control operators all the time, just like on Field Day.

Excuse No. 35. INTERPRETIVE READER: I don’t trust myself to read Part 97 directly; I rely on interpreters.

Excuse No. 36. WASHABLE BRAIN: I was brain-washed.

Excuse No. 37. POSITIVE THINKER: I positively think that “No” doesn’t actually mean absolutely no.

Excuse No. 38. IMPATIENT: The FCC rulemaking process of considering everyone’s comments takes too long.

Excuse No. 39. REVERSAL OF PRIORITY: My nifty system could not function as I want it to if the FCC rules were really mandatory.

Excuse No 40. BLAMELESS: I will accept responsibility for the violation, but not the blame.

Excuse No. 41. PASSIVIST:  Compliance mistakes were made.

Excuse No. 42. SPECULATOR:  I really don’t believe the FCC intends to outlaw American Morse as a telegraphy code when it permits all of those other digital modes. 

Excuse No. 43. AMUSEMENT SEEKER: We just want to have fun. We don’t want to become trained operators, technicians, or electronics experts. We want more leeway. We will skirt the rules if we have to. Your monitors don’t care.

Excuse No. 44. SEE YOU IN COURT: No FCC rule applies unless and until a test case challenging it is upheld in federal court. 

Excuse No. 45. LIGHT OF DAY: Good hams don't need rules. Bad hams won't observe them anyway.

Excuse No. 46. UNCIVIL DISOBEDIENCE: Always fight the establishment!

Excuse No. 47. RUDE AWAKENING: We have met the enemy... and he is us.

Excuse No. 48. GRADUATION TIME: Passing the test was not hard. Knowing just what I'm doing is different.

Excuse No. 49(a). TINY STATION: The transmitter power output is not above 100 mW PEP … or so.

Excuse No. 49(b). TINY STATION: The transmitter power output is not above 1W PEP … or so.

Excuse No. 49(c). TINY STATION: The transmitter power output is not above 10 W PEP … or so.

Excuse No. 50. GENERATIONAL REBELLION: r parents r stupid. we will fix them old rulls wen we r in charge.

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May 23, 2017

Supersedes all prior versions