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Collection Of Excuses
For not complying with our amateur service rules
John B. Johnston W3BE
Excuse 1. SIERRA MADRE TREASURE: Rules? What rules?
Nobody told me about no stinking rules!
Excuse 2. I HAVEN’T READ THE RULES, BUT: What I am doing must be perfectly legal.
Excuse 3. PIED PIPER OF HAMDOM: Follow me and the FCC will eventually change its rules.
Excuse 4. OSTRICH: It is all the fault of the manufacturer of my transmitter.
Excuse 5. NOBODY’S HOME: A lot of hams are doing it my way and no FCC inspectors
are knocking on their doors.
Excuse 6. TIMEWARPED: Those old rules don’t
fit in with what I am doing.
Excuse 7. GOOD BUDDY: Part 95D (CB) is easier to
follow than Part 97 (Amateur.)
Excuse 8. CONNECTED VIP: Some ham who knows a guy
who once worked at the FCC told me that what I am doing is OK.
Excuse 9. WAG THE
DOG: The FCC rules are not helpful in the systems in which my station transmits.
10. STEALTH HAM: No one will ever notice what I get away with.
NOT ME: It is all the fault of the designers of the system in which my station transmits.
12. INTELLECTUAL SNOB: The FCC can’t comprehend what it is that I do.
13: INVENTOR’S PEROGATIVE: Our regulator neglected to foresee and provide rules for what it is that I just
now thought up.
Excuse 14. SOFTWARE COPOUT: I didn’t provide protection against abuse
in my perfeck system design because the users bear all responsibility and enforcement is the FCC’s job.
Excuse 15. GEEK SPECIAL: The computer made me do it.
16. HYPNOTIST: I cleared my mind of the U.S. Code of Federal Regulations and now stare into this other document that
I hold in my hand.
Excuse 17. FREE-FOR-ALL: Everyone knows that those 1934 era FCC rules don’t
apply on Field Day.
Excuse 18. FIELD DAY COMMISSIONED: Some Extra around here said I could operate
Excuse 19. DAREDEVIL: I will continue doing what I am doing until I get a
letter from the FCC advising me that I am in conflict with the rules and subject to disciplinary action.
20. REJECTION INTOLERANCE: I won’t file a petition for rulemaking because some ham may not like my idea.
Excuse 21. BEATS ME: Those rules are too confusing.
22. LOGICIAN: Common sense says that what I am doing is legal.
INTERPRETER: I don’t read the FCC rules. I just ask a ham friend.
PONTIFICATED: The expert in our club tells us what the real rules are.
FAIR-MINDED COMPETITOR: If I observed those rules, it might hurt my contest scores.
26. PET FOOD: The dog ate my copy.
Excuse 27. SQUATTER’S RIGHT: I’ve been
doing it this way for years.
Excuse 28. SPENDTHRIFT: It would cost too much
to be in compliance.
Excuse 29. WHO CARES: No one has ever complained.
30. CLAIRVOYANT: That was not the FCC’s intent.
Excuse 31. IT’S
ALL ABOUT ME: Why should I change to one of the hundreds
of other frequencies when I like THIS one?
Excuse 32. COPY CAT:
Everyone’s doing it.
Excuse 33. THE PICTURE OF DORIAN: The question
you ask is in the gray area of the rules.
Excuse 34. THIRD PARTY OPERATOR RIGHTS ADVOCATE:
Third parties should be allowed to be station control operators all the time, just like on Field Day.
35. INTERPRETIVE READER: I don’t trust myself to read Part 97 directly; I rely on interpreters.
Excuse 36. WASHABLE BRAIN: I was brain-washed.
37. POSITIVE THINKER: I positively think that “No” doesn’t actually mean absolutely no.
Excuse 38. IMPATIENT: The FCC rulemaking process of considering everyone’s
comments takes too long.
Excuse 39. REVERSAL OF PRIORITY: My nifty system
could not function as I want it to if the FCC rules were really mandatory.
40. BLAMELESS: I may have to accept responsibility for the violation, but not the blame.
No. 41. PASSIVIST: Compliance mistakes were made.
Excuse No. 41. SPECULATOR:
I really don’t believe the FCC intends to outlaw American Morse as a telegraphy code when it permits all
of those other digital modes.
Excuse No. 42. AMUSEMENT SEEKER: We want amusement.
We don’t want to become trained operators, technicians, or electronics experts. We want more leeway. We will skirt the
rules if we have to. Your monitors don’t care.
Excuse No. 43. SEE YOU IN
COURT: No FCC rule applies unless and until a test case challenging it is upheld in federal court.
Excuse No. 44. LIGHT OF DAY: Good hams don't need rules. Bad hams won't observe them anyway.
Excuse No. 45. UNCIVIL DISOBEDIENCE: Always fight the establishment!
No. 46. RUDE AWAKENING: We have met the enemy... and he is us.
47. GRADUATION TIME: Passing the test was not hard. Knowing just what I'm doing is different.
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March 31, 2015
Supersedes all prior versions